you’re right it was a little

bitter

and i didn’t

feel so good about it

so it’s gone

i actually feel relieved 

- even though, there is too much man-woman stuff 

in films and their audience

and i think women get it harder both times

but there are better ways of drawing that out.

in london on foot away from scanner, so i’m going to attempt another gertrude stein word portrait.

quickly

pausing too long, legs crossed, legs again crossed, tight legs, cold nose, not to touch, to feel inside, the nose and uncombed hair, again, uncombed, she sees grey and wishes more than grey, but grey comforts, legs crossed again, open up, not as a flower, but as a metal object, open up, again.

where is she?

there is often a boy looking out of a window with his hand neatly directed to touch the plane of glass. in bergman films. and then these boys or women, with their hands on windows are everywhere. i love it, but i’m also hugely aware of it. here’s the boy with hand up, not next to a window.